Being Married in Peace Corps Mozambique

Marital status is a big deal in Mozambique, every official document requires you to disclose whether you are married or single, and in case we’re ever curious about our colleagues, its even posted in our teachers lounge. Even in casual introductions people will volunteer this information or ask about it. Many Americans are guarded, considering marital status something a little more personal, and take some offense when “Are you married?” immediately follows “What’s your name?” and “Where are you from?” but here it’s totally normal. Young female volunteers usually try to keep their status from entering the public domain if they are single to prevent potential suitors from getting their hopes up, but its impossible to keep this a secret unless you are willing to make-up a fake husband, which some of our friends here have done. People love the fact that we are married. Normally fear from all the expenses associated with hosting the requisite wedding banquet discourages people from getting married. Much to the consternation of religious authorities, most couples just live together “in sin”, hoping one day to save enough to officially sanction their union. Our school principal just got married last year after years of waiting and saving. This year another teacher colleague did the same after convincing the school administration to make him a loan from our operating budget. Apparently we have to wait for him to pay the school back before we can buy more printer toner for our computer lab. When the English Royal Wedding was broadcast on Mozambican TV people wanted to know if that is what our wedding in America was like. We told them it was similar except a little less extravagant, and outdoors, not in a church. The entire Catholic community is still waiting for us to get married again, this time in the church and right here in Mozambique so they can all celebrate with us. Most people are sad for us when they realize we have been married for three years but have no children, assuming we are barren. Family planning is still an alien concept in this part of the world where children are wealth and considered the ultimate blessing and status symbol. Others assume we have children, but left them in America and want to know if we miss them. Having only one wife is also a foreign concept to many here. Many of our teacher colleagues care for and have children by multiple women. They keep telling Janet she’ll understand once Luc gets his second wife. Our school has already asked us multiple times to extend another year, something we keep denying, but they keep insisting. Finally we told them that we are not allowed to have children while volunteers. That immediately convinced them. Now they are focused on trying to get Peace Corps to send them another married couple to replace us. It’s for the best; our house is too small for two single volunteers to share, unless they’re willing to sleep in the same bed. Most people here simply refer to us as o casal, the married couple, and we don’t mind. Even other single Peace Corps volunteers are jealous at times of our built-in support network, and that we’ll have at least one other person around who understands this defining experience for the rest of our lives.